On the road again!!!

This blog is public again...

so you can read all the background of how I got to Egypt. But I wanted a new place so here it is. In chronological order, you can start here at this blog, go here next, then onto my newest home! Come join me. Enjoy!

My new blog...

Hi All! It's public! Here!

Updates...and getting ready for Ramadan

Hmmmm.....where do I begin? Well first of all, I want to ask the few people who have access to this blog to please join me as a follower--widget in upper right hand corner. Because that's the only way you will know I have updated. I am thinking either to make this blog public again, or transfer this basic blog to another url--not sure but "follow" me and then you will know what's happening. I really want to get back to blogging regularly, but every time I turn around, someone "discovers" who I really am--last time it was my crazy ex s-i-l and time before that was my husband--haha--I really prefer more anonymity. So I can say whatever the hell I want and get things off my chest! I seriously do need to vent sometimes--otherwise I would go crazy. And I think there are important issues that I, as an ex-pat, need to address without fear of reprisals. Anyway, step-by-step I will find my niche and hopefully stick to it.

On another front, my husband and I spent Monday in Khan al Khalili, which is a huge--and I mean HUGE--souk in Cairo. Think Moroccan bazaar kinda place. Monday was the day before our wedding anniversary. We had originally intended to spend 3 days--Mon-Wed at Ain Sukhna, a resort on the Red Sea. But with Ramadan beginning this Friday or Saturday (depends on the moon) I thought it was just too rushed, because Ramadan requires mega shopping/preparation.

I will do another post on this trip to the Khan/Ramadan--hopefully later today and upload some pics. Meantime, will try to add some readers. This blog was going pretty good when it was public--I'd really like to get it up and running again!

Hugs to all.....

And the ticker says...

13 months and 2 days in Egypt. I've been here over a year now and I guess it's time to update and give an evaluation of sorts. Overdue in fact.

First I have to say I missed writing on this blog. I missed the many readers/commenters/friends that came with it. Unfortunately I am still keeping it private, but I think it's better that way. I recently closed another blog because my ex s-i-l discovered it--and me--on Twitter. I dont want any connection to my insane brother or anyone in his family from back home. That was a nightmare in my life and I am so thankful it is over. I moved on to bigger and better things and just want that part of my life to be as far away as possible. So the blog will remain private, but I will add readers.

So how was my first year in Egypt??? Well the first thought that comes to mind is...it was wicked hard!!! I have good and some very bad memories of all that has transpired here. While I do feel in many ways things are now on the upswing insha Allah, I am still shaken by some of the events I have experienced, and just the overall difficulties of life in a third world country.

While Egypt barely appears--on the surface at least--to still be a third world country--the mentality of the people for the most part speaks volumes that they have still not embraced a first world mentality. There is absolutely no accountability here--for actions of words. People dont do their jobs properly or with any kind of integrity. They will lie about anything and everything. While this country is loaded with brilliant minds, tons of money, advanced medical care, amazing huge stores, incredible malls, good roads, fabulous resorts, etc, the mind set of the people is still chaotic. And that pretty much describes Egypt--it is chaos. I think the country as a whole just flies by the seat of its pants--it survives only by the mercy of God, and if ever the day comes where there must be some accountability, I fear the worst. I think the whole system will come crashing down on our heads. One only needs to drive here to understand what I mean. Implementing any changes or new rules here would so upset the applecart--I think it would be worse than Hiroshima after the nuke. People just follow long-standing protocal here. It seems to work for them. I guess for them, the attitude here is...if it aint broke, dont fix it. Problem is, they cant see just how "broke" it is.

The American expats here are another mystery. They might be very nice and normal people in their own country. Here for the most part--oh God--they are snakes. I do know a VERY few really nice expat women here. Can count them on one hand with fingers left to spare. They have adopted the lying mechanisms that so pervade the Egyptians themselves. They are a selfish and unsocialable (if your not in their set) lot--in fact they are worse than a click, they are a gang. If you're not part of the "in" crowd, you dont exist. And I'm talking about so-called Muslims here. Makes me wonder what kind of people we reverts truly are??? Is it that we couldnt make it in our own society, so we changed religions and adopted a new country/culture? Why oh why are so many, almost all the reverts I know here, such selfish hypocrites? For them, promises are made to be broken. Engagements/appointments ignored or cancelled at the last second. Psychiatrists would have a field day here with the Muslim revert expats. In short, they think their shit doesnt stink. Needless to say I am not part of that crowd. Thank God.

In general, one must be very cautious here. Sad to say it is almost dangerous--certainly dangerous to one's mental health--to get close to any one here. Sooner or later you find that no matter how seemingly genuine people are here--both natives and expats--sooner or later they show their true colors. It's not a good idea to trust people here. At least not too deeply. At the least you'll get your heart broken--at worst--they could put you in jail. Remind me to continue this thought with the story of my previous landlord.

On June 1st we moved to our new flat...my husband, mom and me. And the dog! I absolutely HATE moving. I've done it too much. But the new place is so worth it. It is beautiful. Masha Allah. Patience rewards. Took me forever it seems to get to the place/point in time where I am now. The flat and garden are its own little world. It's big enough that I dont feel the walls closing in on me like I did in the last place. There's privacy. I dont know any of the neighbors nor do I want to. I dont want other tenants knocking or invading my space like what happened in my last place. I have learned that to survive with any level of comfort and privacy here, I cant be too friendly. Among other things, friendliness can be misconstrued as a sign of stupidity. A sign you are ripe to be taken advantage of. My husband has a point about his preferring to keep his life very private. We Americans tend to be open books. Egyptians pretend to be but they are not. It's just kind of a ruse to get you to open up. Sometimes one must learn the hard way. I learned. In my real life, I am now a closed book. I actually like it better that way.

I know this post seems to be written with a lot of bitterness. Because I do harbor a certain amount of bitterness. About many things I have experienced here in the last year. Egypt has changed dramatically from what it was even on my last visit in 2006. If you havent heard me say this before, I am saying it again...I blame the satellite TV and the internet for a lot of the shit that goes on here. Some days it's hard to believe I am not in America here. The net is making us so homogenous. Every society exposed to the net and international TV is changing rapidly. Old is being replaced with new--especially in terms of values. Cultural lines have become blurred. It is becoming one world--and not a very nice one at that I think. I believe the end of times are near. Which reminds me of another story I want to tell about my "bowab". Literally it means "doorman", but here it means the "super"--he lives with his family in the basement and takes care of the building and everyone in it...a kind of guard-slash-go-fer.

Well I'll sign off here. All in all, am I glad to be here? Glad I made the move? Was it all worth it? I'm not so sure. Given the fact I live in a place that has adopted all the bad of the place I left--but NONE of the good--I'm thinking maybe home is better. Better infrastructure, much more accountability, everything in my own culture and language--not to mention being closer to my kids. At this point, I dont know. I just dont know. I need more time I think. Maybe I just need a trip home. I DO absolutely need a trip home that's for sure. I need to stop here now. Will write more later.

Happy Anniversary to me!

So it's been just over a year since I've moved to Egypt. Wow! What a year it's been! Good times, bad times, times when all I felt like doing was turning tail and running back home. Other times I couldnt imagine living any other place but here. Up and downs on a weekly basis. Missing my kids so much it hurts. I feel quite schizophrenic, truth to tell. It's the common story of the expat. We all go through it, and sad to say some never adjust.

I have learned one thing here though and that is PATIENCE. No westerner could ever survive here this long without it. Egypt takes tons of patience. Thank God I acquired it. Stay tuned for an update!

Back by invitation only

Sorry folks! I had to hide this blog cuz hubby discovered it on one of his bad hair days and got realllly upset, thinking the only reason I'm staying in Egypt is for him...which uh, is the truth some days--not always--and anyways what if it is the truth? I think I'd be flattered if the man I loved gave up everything in this world to move halfway around it just to be with me. That's not the truth but apparently that's how he was seeing it and who knows--like I said it must have been a bad hair day or male menopause...

Which leads me to another thing I want to say...menstruation, menopause, mental illness...all troublesome to women and all begin with m-e-n. Anyway...

I'm just shooting out this quick post to the people I have invited to read it so far and thanks Mrs. Mika who wrote me a sweet tearjerker of a letter telling me how devastated she was when she could no longer read my blog...thanks Mrs. Mika!!! Big hi-5 to ya!

Truth is, I appreciate everyone who wrote to me after I exited stage left. But I think now I need to keep things on the down low cuz hubby only read that last post "Expat Hell". God only knows if he read the whole blog! For sure he'd think I was whacked out. Even though he was in on the Great Snake Adventure--hahahahaha--and used it as an excuse to scare the willies outta me.

Anyway, he's a reallllly sweet and decent guy and when he got upset about the blog I asked him if he wanted me to take it down and he said yes and now you know the whole story. But I will continue to blog for a select few. If y'all have any questions, feel free to ask.

Love, hugs, kisses...

Expat Hell

I know I haven't been posting much and when I do it's a stretch to find something nice to say. I guess I've gotten past that euphoric stage where all is right with the Egyptian world and have to now start dealing with the everyday reality of all that is Egypt. If I had to sum it all up in one sentence, right now I'd say "Just point me towards the exit"!!! Yeh!

A friend of mine who's been here for nearly 20 years says the first year is the hardest. She's right and I should know that cuz I've had two first years here before this and am now working on my third "first year"--are you still with me? One day you wake up and look around and say "Where the hell am I and why did I do this to myself?" I guess that's where I am right now. Truly wishing I could turn tail and run back home to the USA. I miss my kids and right now I am sorry to say--all things American. When it hurts so bad I let myself run with the idea of actually going back and the logistics of it just seem to much to handle. First there's the issue of where I will stay in USA--sure, there's the kids but who wants Mom and Grandma hanging around forever--not them! So it means the inevitable and ever painful apartment search--something I can actually afford and will allow this moose of a dog I have. Then it needs to be furnished, which on the flip side--what do I do with all my stuff here??? Even though for now it's a furnished flat, you cant imagine the crap you manage to accumulate in the attempt to make it a little bit your own. Ah well...same crap different country.

What happens to an expat in the love/hate relationship of the adoptive country? I mean why go from loving a place to hating a place almost overnight? I guess it's like any other relationship. The honeymoon period slowly ends and real life sets in and you are forced to face the truth that your beloved is not perfect. For a time you only focus on the warts. And it's a scary thing. I know beyond this point is a happy medium where you begin to focus on the accurate picture--that everything and everyone has their faults as well as their good points. And it's at this point you need to ask yourself, does the good outweigh the bad?

I'll let you know when I get there. Meantime stay tuned for some reasons why I'm no longer thrilled with life in this sandbox.